"BAD TRIP RECORDS"



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therapyness.

THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY

"I'm supposed to be psychotic? YOUR RECORDS ARE PSYCHOTIC!"

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"Who's lyin' now?"

Just how long did Susan K. Hamann RN live with "Kevin Eric Saunders a/k/a bonze blayk"?

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AMW vs. SKH: "Who's Lyin' Now?" <- Click to see this Timeline with online document images






Susan Hamann RN delivered a barrage of lies so skilfully targeted that it left the critical faculties of the State's clinicians - "experts on logic and reason" (and "dangerousness" - it is to laugh) - a pile of smoking rubble.

…one might think of it as "an action poetics of the Baroque" (it unfolds over time)

     kudos - AnneRose Blayk

"That's incredibly devious!" - Joanne Zager, PhD, expert gender therapist

"Yes… but I admire deviousness when it's put to use in a good cause." - BARB


"Kevin Eric Saunders a/k/a bonze blayk" to Dr. Igor Kashtan - in interview as an inpatient deemed to suffer from a "Dangerous mental disorder" at the Rochester Regional Forensic Unit, on or about June 20, 2003.


BRAIN DAMAGE #2

A brief digression on the nature of incompetence… and incompetents

Some people aren't aware that they are fucking up, even when you try to explain it to them: these are a few - who just happen to work for the New York State Office of "Mental" Health? There's been research done on this topic by a couple of folks in the psychology department up at Cornell, Justin Kruger and David Dunning; their characterization of the overconfidence displayed by incompetents is known as the

"Dunning-Kruger Effect"

My method of operation here? The "Phosphorescent Quotation." I shall cite my favorite Professor of English Literature, Hugh Kenner:

This book is about the familiar world, three cross-sections of which yield the following …

(2) Phosphorescent Quotation. It was long supposed that a politician was best mocked by parody: by isolating traits and exaggerating them. But in the mid-1950's satirists discovered that to mock Dwight Eisenhower it was sufficient to quote him verbatim. Nor was this a function of presidential dyslexia; for in 1961 verbatim excerpts proved John Kennedy's press conferences to be indistinguishable in detail from those of the previous regime. It is now commonplace to remark of a wide range of phenomena that they 'parody themselves.' Pop art — the contrived application of this principle — was a product of the Kennedy period.


The Counterfeiters: An Historical Comedy, "Foreword" p. xi. Hugh Kenner, 1973.

… for indeed, what I shall lay out before us here is a parody of "mental health care and treatment," as delivered by the professionals themselves, who are disinclined to honor either the legal restrictions placed on their testimony - to "tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" - or the provable facts of my life.

How is it that I'm even halfway competent in performing such an analysis? Well, I pursued a career as a software developer and Network Systems Programmer, which involves:

1) Dealing with a profusion of computer systems and network protocols, all using somewhat different approaches in their design and often wildly different approaches to the language they use in their implementation;

2) Computer programming, which involves writing code, debugging it, reading texts which describe the complex APIs ("Application Programming Interfaces" or "Frameworks") used to invoke OS functions, editing texts including both code and documentation, and close proofreading for errors in one's own or other people's code; and furthermore

3) Network applications design, which requires a flexible understanding of user interfaces and the various ways in which people seek to communicate (assuming you wish to help them do so more effectively? LOL).

Moreover, I spent much of my career, in which I was reasonably successful, working half-time because I wanted to do other things, such as master the dark arts of guiterrorism and … well, read a bunch of books, including - besides military history? - works on psychology, literary theory, and "whatever!" (like Thomas Kuhn? right).


IN THE BEGINNING was the Adverse Drug Reaction… -
the Three-Way Train Wreck on P450IID6

Dis-coordinated by the Family & Children's Service of Ithaca.

The sign on the Starbucks said:
"Stories are gifts… share them!"
and I thought to myself:

"Stories are curses… inflict them."

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[Length of time between my being incorrectly diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Cannabis Dependence by Amari Meader at Ithaca's "Family & Children's Service"and the date I heard about them? - SIX MONTHS]


BRAIN DAMAGE #3

"Gender Identity Order"

Gender Identity Order




"R/o: Rule out Hallucinogen Intoxication" - well, actually not.
See BRAIN DAMAGE #3 - INVOLUNTARY PCP INTOXICATION




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Here's a link to the Facebook Photo page on which I display and discuss the official DSM-IV decision tree for assessing psychotic disorders: DSM-IV on Differential Diagnosis of Psychotic Disorders - in 2003, Dr. April Roberts buried the evidence for PCP intoxication, and then proceeded to lie about my behaviors in the hospital (which were fine after about 3 days?) and extend them out to "over two weeks" to "qualify" me for "At least two weeks of delusions or hallucinations" -> Bipolar with Psychotic Features -> BULLSHIT


"How Many Dates Can One Forensic Psychiatrist Fuck Up In Novel Ways On One Page?"



How Many Dates? <- Click to see this Timeline with online document images






"Outside of the 6 week window of time when Mr. Saunders compiled these charges,
he has never been charged with a crime."


Defense Attorney Ezra Sherman, AFFIRMATION FOR MOTION IN SUPPORT OF BAIL - October 6, 1997

Still true as of May 5, 2018. - AnneRose - ;-)


When is an "Expert Psychiatrist for the Defense" in a psychiatric hearing an "Offensive Psychiatrist"?

Dr. Houghtalen's Assessment: My "expert witness for the defense" in 2003 missed the fact that there was one year between my 2002-2003 episodes, and didn't bother to read my analysis of my Adverse Drug Reaction of Jan-Feb 1997 from May 2000, AND states:

In the throes of this psychosis, he exhibited criminal behaviors. These included an accusation of forcing sexual contact on the girlfriend and arson of a trailer home, the later offense committed while he was crossgender dressed. He was hospitalized-briefly and responded rapidly and completely to antipsychotic treatment. [FALSE] Subsequently, he was adjudicated to an NRGI by plea.

Physicists have a phrase for that - it's "Not even wrong!" This is the Psychiatric Standard Narrative (see The Black Swan) - "patient goes off medications, starts doing drugs, and goes crazy" - applied to a case with a radically different history: "smokes pot and kicks ass on work and life in general, quits pot to go on medications, and then GOES CRAZY." In my case we're talking about a major offense against the public safety with a provably different history, following which I was



SANE

… and released on no medications at all.

My cost: $2,500 for having "my" "expert" defense witness try to force toxic "antipsychotic" drugs on me by promoting a false and totally misleading history of my life: again I state:

"Antipsychotic" is adspeak, a label used as a marketing tool to promote the use of NEUROLEPTIC DRUGS which induce symptoms of Parkinson's Disease, and may be useful in treating some psychoses, and

"Antidepressant" is a MARKETING LABEL, not a scientific label for what are basically STIMULANT DRUGS.

What happened over those days I was left unmedicated in the holding tank of the Tompkins County jail following my arrest in 1997 for the arson was a DETOX from psychiatric drugs - I was abruptly taken off all drugs, and by the third day, I had recovered (most) of my ability to evaluate delusional beliefs, and appropriately assess and screen out the "background clutter" that comprises the "noise" in the auditory system. I was only transferred to the dorm after 10 days.

NOTE WELL: For Dr. Houghtalen and almost all of the rest of these "experts," an accusation of criminal behavior PROVES GUILT. From their perspective, "innocent until proven guilty" is a hackneyed catchphrase that somehow worked its way into the law… one not in accord with the "understandings" of 'scientific medicine.'


DOING TIME:

IT'S LIKE Groundhog Day, ONLY THE DAY NEVER ACTUALLY CHANGES

"Every day was exactly the same."



- bonze anne blayk has returned from the land of the living dead -

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I was "hospitalized" for 1,691 days, with predictable results, as my business went into decline following my being railroaded into the depths of the "mental health" system… a kind of reverse Freedom Train? Despite able assistance from my friend Bill Garrison of Standard Orbit Software, we were only able to get one release of dataComet out after my institutionalization, so Gross Income for databeast, Inc. plummeted from $24,000 in 2002 to a mere $6,000 in 2007, when I was at long last released - still under the supervision of the OMH, and still on Risperdal.


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What did the taxpayers get for investing well over $1,352,800.00 on my imprisonment within the psychiatric system?

- The Crosstime March of the GAF scores -
- Global Assessment of Functioning -

- embedded in my Record of Diagnoses -

"GAF: 60 Previous: 30" - for three years!


The GAF or "Global Assessment of Functioning" - "psychological, social, and occupational functioning on a hypothetical continuum of mental health-illness." (DSM-IV, p. 32)

GAFGAF -
Past Year
DateClinician (Institutional Affiliation)GID Diagnosed?GID/"Gender Identity Disorder" diagnosis specifics
NANA5/30/1997Norman Lesswing PhD (Arson 1997-019 - Defense Expert - Benjamin Rush)Yself-avowed "lesbian-transsexual"
45NA6/14/1997Paul T. Povinelli PhD (Arson 1997-019 - Prosecution Expert - private/EPC)
NANA6/4/1998John Kennedy MD (RRFU)"R/O Gender Identity Disorder"
NANA6/4/1998R.P. Singh MD (Chief Psychiatrist, RRFU)Y"Transvestic Fetishism w/Gender Dysphoria"
60NA5/2/2000Linda Riley LCSW (TCMH Forensic Therapist)Y"Gender Identity Disorder"
55NA5/11/2000John Bezirganian MD (TCMH)Y"Gender Identity Disorder"
55NA5/2/2002Arthur Roemmelt MD (CMC)N
03554/4/2003EPC Core History UpdateY"Gender Identity Order" - LOL
NANA4/16/2003Carlos Reyes (EPC)Y
03NA4/11/2003April Roberts DO (EPC)Y
55NA5/8/2003William Connor PhD (Defense Expert for "Recommitment Hearing"
- 16 years with OMH)
Y GID is AnneRose Blayk's PRIMARY DIAGNOSIS
03NA5/28/2003April Roberts DO (EPC)"Gender Identity Disorder"
NANA9/3/2003Christopher Deakin MD (RRFU)N
NANA9/3/2003Igor Kashtan MD (RRFU)Y
60309/14/2004Savithri Satti MD (EPC)
60309/21/2004EPC Core History Update
70509/20/2004Paul T. Povinelli PhD (EPC)Y"Gender Identity Disorder Adult with Transvestism"
705011/2/2004Savithri Satti MD (EPC)"Gender Identity Adult with Transvestism"
60301/5/2005Savithri Satti / Meghan Lawrence LMSW (EPC)N
60302/8/2005EPC Core History Update
70503/24/2005Savithri Satti MD (EPC)"gender identity - adult with transgender issues"
60303/30/2006Savithri Satti MD (EPC)"gender identity - adult with transgender issues"
60304/1/2006Savithri Satti MD (EPC)"gender identity - adult with transgender issues"
60309/13/2006EPC Core History Update
603011/9/2006EPC Core History Update
60307/12/2007Saeed-Uz Zafari Khan MD (EPC)N
60307/12/2007EPC Forensic Committee>N
60309/10/2007Saeed-Uz Zafari Khan MD (EPC)N
60-7050-609/24/2007Saeed-Uz Zafari Khan MD (EPC)N
603010/12/2007Saeed-Uz Zafari Khan MD (EPC)N
65NA11/11/2011Lippert MD (TCMH)N
65651/30/2012John Bezirganian MD (TCMH)
65NA3/22/2012GBHC Forensic Committee(UNDER TREATMENT by Joanne Zager PhD)
TOTAL unique diagnoses of "Gender Identity Disorder" by OMH clinicians11 TWELVE including gender specialist Joanne Zager PhD (private)
TOTAL diagnoses of Antisocial Personality Disorder0ZERO
CMCCayuga Medical Center
EPCElmira Psychiatric Center
GBHCGreater Binghamton Health Center
OMHOffice of Mental Health of New York State
RRFURochester Regional Forensic Unit (secure mental hospital - part of Rochester Psychiatric Center)
TCMHTompkins County Mental Health

Excerpts from GAF Scale codes (DSM-IV, p. 32):

70 - 61 - Some mild symptoms (e.g., depressed mood and mild insomnia) OR some difficulty in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., occasional truancy or theft within the household), but generally functioning pretty well, has some meaningful interpersonal relationships.

60 - 51 - Moderate symptoms (e.g., flat affect and circumstantial speech, occasional panic attacks) OR moderate difficulty in social occupational, or school functioning (e.g., few friends, conflicts with peers or co-workers).

30 - 21 - Behavior is considerably influenced by delusions or hallucinations OR serious impairment in communication or judgment (e.g., sometimes incoherent, acts grossly inappropriately, suicidal preoccupation) OR inability to function in almost all areas (e.g., stays in bed all day; no job, home, or friends).

20 - 11 - Some danger of hurting self or others (e.g., suicide attempts without clear expectation of death; frequently violent; manic excitement) OR occasionally fails to maintain minimal personal hygiene (e.g., smears feces) OR gross impairment in communication (e.g., largely incoherent or mute).

[Note: INVOLUNTARY LEGAL COMMITMENT UNDER THE LAWS OF NEW YORK STATE REQUIRES DANGER TO SELF OR OTHERS - AnneRose Blayk]


About "Gender Identity Order" / "Gender Identity Disorder"/ "Gender Dysphoria" -

There's a whole lot of diagnoses of Gender Identity Disorder in there; interesting, huh? It's a birth condition, in my case: I'm "transgendered." About 0.3% of the population (1 in 300) qualifies for such a diagnosis of what is also known as "Transsexualism," which applies whether or not the person can obtain medical treatment - such as hormone therapy - for the condition?

"Just what is a 'mental disorder' according to the DSM-IV psychiatric manual?"

Well, it's mostly vague:

The concept of mental disorder, like many other concepts in medicine and science, lacks a consistent operational definition that covers all situations. All medical conditions are defined on various levels of abstraction-for example, structural pathology (e.g. , ulcerative colitis), symptom presentation (e.g., migraine), deviance from a physiological norm (e.g., hypertension), and etiology (e.g., pneumococcal pneumonia). Mental disorders have also been defined by a variety of concepts (e.g., distress, dyscontrol, disadvantage, disability, inflexibility, irrationality, syndromal pattern, etiology, and statistical deviation). - DSM-IV Introduction, p. xxi.

A therapeutic interaction between Dr. Igor Kashtan and myself, during our weekly 15m session, while sitting on the South porch of Rochester Regional Forensic Unit 1 sometime in the Spring of 2004, the ONLY such instance over the period in which I was 'institutionalized':

Dr. Kashtan - "When you consider obtaining Sexual Reassignment Surgery,
    you should keep in mind that about half of the time
    patients wind up sexually dysfunctional."

AnneRose - "Do you really think I'm transsexual?"
    (NOTE: I have KNOWN I am transsexual since January 1997!)

Dr. Kashtan - [looks me up and down] - "Yes, I do."

TIME in secondsTreatment
20sDuration of ALL therapy for Transsexualism (DSM-III or ICD-10)/"Gender Identity Disorder" (DSM-IV)/"Gender Dysphoria" (DSM-5) while under inpatient "care, treatment, and rehabilitation" by agents of the New York State Office of Mental Health
65,121,840,000sDuration of "inpatient treatment" by OMH - 2,065 DAYS and 65 BILLION seconds? WOW!
0.00000003%Proportion of my "care and treatment" devoted to what many expert clinicians consider life-saving therapy? huh.

Getting "Cored"

Regarding the CORE HISTORY which was prepared as an overview of my history at the Rochester Regional Forensic Unit late in the year 1997 - I quote:

Patient was admitted to the Rochester Regional Forensic Unit (RRFU) on 1/30/98 for a 330.20 inpatient exam at the request of this agency. Patient has been living in the community apparently without incident since shortly after the instant offense, which indicates a very low risk for any aggressive behaviors or escape.

- the length of time between this deeply psychotic (see: factually deranged) "text" being composed on the OMH computer system and me seeing the thing? - SIX YEARS, from October 1997 - September 2003! I had complained during outpatient treatment with the folks at Tompkins County Mental Health that the personnel associated with the OMH down at the Elmira Psychiatric Center seemed to have some rather misguided notions about me, but I was never informed of the existence of this document until AFTER I was hospitalized in 2003, following being hit with PCP, and WHUPS! becoming psychotic again! due to an involuntary exposure to AN HALLUCINOGENIC DRUG!

(Which was just "too hard" for them to figure out, even though PCP intoxication is one of those phenomena whose symptoms are rather distinctive? huh.)

I submitted corrections to this ridiculous abortion of a document, which contained errors at all levels of analysis, from the misspelling of proper names to wildly incorrect dates to diagnoses both made and dismissed. Dates relevant to my history were wholly misleading - for example? It took me 3 years, NOT 5 years, to obtain my Bachelors degree with High Honors in Economics from the University of Texas at Austin! - as well as dates relevant to the medical history involved, which you would think they would get right? And misquotations: claiming I said I suffered from "Teshwin Syndrome," when I had asserted that I obviously exhibit some rather annoying behavioral traits associated with what is known as Geschwind Syndrome? It's… another trainwreck!

Number of errors eventually corrected in their record: zero.

… including the absolutely absurd assertion that Dr. Jody Stackman - a neurologist I asked to assess the possibility that I suffered from a neurological disorder - had diagnosed me instead with Alcohol Dependence! And this, the only "diagnosis" of Alcoholism that was ever claimed for me? Um, beg pardon? That's not in his records! I tried and failed to get precisely this blatant case of PURE INVENTION corrected, working with Judy Conley (a Psychology PhD candidate doing her internship down at the EPC), who obtained my records from his office, and confirmed that this claim was indeed in error… NO GO! - ROFLMAO - this "treatment system" is diseased!

"The Office of Mental Health does not have any mechanisms for correcting errors in their records."
- Dr. John Bezirganian, chief psychiatrist, Tompkins County Mental Health.

I apologize for writing somewhat in the style of Tom Wolfe, but know what?
It is impossible! to write about this shit without BANGS! - shrieks! - exclamation points!!!

… which reminds me:

deception is a matter of life and death for the combat aviator



deception is a matter of life and death for the software engineer


Your registration will appear as follows:
This copy of dataComet-Secure is licensed on a 5-copy basis to Steve Wozniak.
(pursuant to phone order by the The Woz, Monday, January 21, 2002 at 3:41 PM)



"ACQUITTED BY MIRRORS"


so where then are these murdered angels?
where are their white exquisite corpses?

AND WHY IS THE DEPARTMENT OF PRE-CRIME SO INCOMPETENT?



[Board of Elections Determinations vs. Actual Findings of Incompetence (zero)- 1998]
Somehow my right to vote got automatically rescinded, because the people who wrote the computerized system that filed reports to the Board of Elections just assumed that all insanity acquitees had been deemed legally incomptent? Nobody had ever challenged that before! I got it restored, because I was NEVER found guilty of a felony, nor was I ever found to be incompetent to manage my own affairs. Up until… but that's a story I have to hold off on? (SMIRK)
- why do some psychiatrists think they've got a license to lie?




[The PEM System]
Imagine having to accumulate 10 or more of the "interactions" listed here every day under a system based on the "Psycho-Educational Management System" that was implemented at Boys Town! These are called "Treatment Skills?"

That's what we had to do in the Rochester Regional Treatment Unit. Sure: some people with developmental disabilities or severe personality disorders might benefit from this approach - but is this any way to treat an adult?




[IX. THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS]
Somehow failing to meet the standard of testifying to "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" never seems to meet with any penalty for those who are GUILTY of the offense… when they are testifying for the prosecution. WHY





everything old is new again

Including the audacious concept of EQUALITY BEFORE THE LAW

A brief discussion of unequal privilege to present hearsay in evidence: mental health clinicians are granted the privilege of presenting "hearsay testimony" regarding what other people said, even though this is denied to ordinary people, despite the fact that their ability to accurately report the contents of conversations is for shit.

This failure is caused in part because they never seem to take notes during sessions, and instead rely on their extraordinary ability to accurately recall complex verbal interactions, so unlike almost everybody else on this planet, including the Watergate investigation's famous "human tape recorder" John Dean.

Besides that? Some of them lie a lot. What is the general picture for society, given such radical empowerment of what must be deemed bullshit artists?

I shall resort to extensive citations on "the ancient classic of documents" for some clues:

Sun Tzu and his commentators on Law and Order

from "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu (pp. 46-48), translated by Thomas Cleary.

Master Sun -

Therefore use these assessments for comparison, to find out what the conditions are. That is to say, which political leadership has the Way? Which general has ability? Who has the better climate and terrain? Whose discipline is effective? Whose troops are the stronger? Whose officers and soldiers are the better trained? Whose system of rewards and punishments is clearer? This is how you can know who will win.

The Commentators -

A political leadership that has the Way will surely have a military leadership that has intelligence and ability. - Li Quan

Ask yourself which political leadership--your own or that of your enemy--is able to reject flatterers and draw close to the wise. - Du Mu

The Way means virtue. It is first necessary to compare the political leadership of nations at war. - Du You

The question regarding political leadership is, who is able to win the hearts of the people. - Mei Yaochen

The ancient classic of documents say, "The one who treats me well is my leader, the one who treats me cruelly is my enemy." The question is, which side has a humane government, and which side has a cruel government. - Ho Yanxi

First compare the political leadership of the two nations at war, in terms of which one has the Way of benevolence and good faith. Then examine the military leadership--who has intelligence, trustworthiness, humaneness, bravery, and sternness. Now observe which side has the environmental advantages. - Zhang Yu

Set up rules that are not to be broken, do not fail to punish any offenders. - Cao Cao

When it comes to establishing rules and regulations, everyone, high and low, should be treated alike. - Du Mu

Compare whose orders are more effective--whose subordinates do not dare to disobey. - Du You

Make everyone equal under the law. - Mei Yaochen

See who is able to make rules clear and commands easy to follow, so that people listen and obey. - Wang Xi

(On the matters of strength and training): When superior and subordinate are in harmony, equally brave in battle, that makes for strength. - Du Mu

Know whose armaments are more effective, and whose troops are carefully chosen and well trained. As it is said, "If soldiers do not practice day to day, on the front lines they will be fearful and hesitant. If generals do not practice day to day, on the front lines they will not know how to adapt." - Du You

(Turning to the subject of punishments and rewards): Rewards should not be out of proportion, punishments should not be arbitrary. - Du Mu

Know whose system of rewards for the good and punishments for the bad is clearly defined. As it is said, "If rewards are immoderate, there will be expenditure that does not result in gratitude; if punishments are immoderate, there will be slaughter that does not result in awe." - Du You

When people deserve reward, this should be duly noted even if you personally detest them. When people deserve punishment, this should not be forgone even if they are close to you. - Mei Yaochen

(Summing up): By assessing these seven things you can know who will be victorious and who will be defeated. - Cao Cao

If you can find out the real conditions, then you will know who will prevail. - Mei Yaochen

If you are superior in all of these seven things, you have won before you have even done battle. If you are inferior in all of these seven things, you have lost even before you go into battle. Therefore it is possible to know the victor beforehand. - Zhang Yu



AnneRose Blayk

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